Late last night and this morning I was peeing blood, and BOY was I freaked out! Called the doc today and of course my male doctor who I love and trust was out and a woman doc was there. First words out of her month, of course after "is there any discharge from your penis", was "you have a problem with a woman doctor?". Dilemma with a capital "D"! Of course I said "No, not at all", but I had to admit I was a bit nervous. I know...I know...I consider myself an evolved man, but I still get a bit out of sorts when faced with a woman doctor and even a therapist. I have NO problem believing that woman can do these jobs as well as men. That's not it at all. What is it?....Is there anything wrong with wanting the same gender when it comes to your innermost feelings and body parts?.... Why do I feel more relaxed with such? Isn't there just a feeling of gender specific understanding that we all want when we feel vulnerable, like at the doctor?
So...being as I have absolutely NO traffic on my site, how about some people chiming in on this dilemma. It's not that I didn't do fine with the woman doc, I just could not relax like I wanted to. What do you think? Is there some things that will always be gender specific?
Oh...by the way...I have a urinary/bladder infection. At least that is the consensus prior to the urine analysis. Of course when I called into work and a female coworker answered and said, "men don't get those, do they?"
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Monday, November 06, 2006
learning how to manifest
Well...it seems I can't sleep. I gave my wife a hard time on the phone because she informed me that our time together next weekend would have to be cut short for a day. Once she arrives I will have not seen her for almost two weeks and it was two weeks before that when we spent time together. I don't mean to be a baby here (but I guess I am). We are newlyweds and have to live apart until May. I had no idea that I would have such a hard time with this. AND...here she is working her ass off to finish law school and I'm being a baby.
So...I can't sleep cause I'm pissed, lonely, and an idiot! I'm sure she doesn't need for me to act this way. I've been trying to be supportive, but today was just not my day for being a good guy.
So...here I am in my stew....thinking about honoring myself and my marriage by trying to manifest some good in my life. My career life has been sucking for some time and it's time to change that. I've spent the last hour coming up with ideas that may help me grow and take some chances, cause the decisions I have made in the past to stay safe have turned into doo doo.
I have tremendous talents...that I am sure of...BUT I can't seem to transform these talents into anything successful. My failures have become my abyss that strangles my soul. THAT has GOT to STOP!!!
Ok...I feel a little better now...I'm going to try and sleep......
So...I can't sleep cause I'm pissed, lonely, and an idiot! I'm sure she doesn't need for me to act this way. I've been trying to be supportive, but today was just not my day for being a good guy.
So...here I am in my stew....thinking about honoring myself and my marriage by trying to manifest some good in my life. My career life has been sucking for some time and it's time to change that. I've spent the last hour coming up with ideas that may help me grow and take some chances, cause the decisions I have made in the past to stay safe have turned into doo doo.
I have tremendous talents...that I am sure of...BUT I can't seem to transform these talents into anything successful. My failures have become my abyss that strangles my soul. THAT has GOT to STOP!!!
Ok...I feel a little better now...I'm going to try and sleep......
Saturday, November 04, 2006
spooky family tree
Seems that genealogy can uncover the identity of haunted spirits. Very interesting....
Check out the below article...Now, THAT is spooky.
*Oct 26, 2006 "Serving The Communities of Boothbay, Boothbay Harbor, Southport, Edgecomb" Vol 129, Number 43
Haunted: The Welch House Inn by Lisa Kristoff
Seasons Greetings…
It is that unique time of year when spirits are high (and sometimes seen), when a leaf dancing across a street on a dark and windy night can make you turn and take in your surroundings with the slightest hint of trepidation.
It is the time of year pumpkins become jack-o-lanterns, when spider webs loom large like those that housed giant arachnids in Elvira's collection of B-horror movies, and when adults and children are transformed into otherworldly personas.
It is the time of year when children bob for apples, when haunted hay rides transport passengers by frightful vignettes, and when Boris Karloff's "Monster Mash" booms from radios and at Halloween parties.
It is also the time of year when ghost stories are told and re-told.
Over the years we have heard about the ghosts on Burnt Island, the Kenniston Hill Inn B&B, and the Opera House at Boothbay Harbor.
This year we have found a new addition to the haunted list, The Welch House Inn. The Welch House Inn is located at 56 McKown Street in Boothbay Harbor and is open year round.
When current owners Susan Hodder and Michael Feldmann purchased the inn four years ago, they were told that a benevolent spirit lodged there.
"I was skeptical," said Hodder. "They told us that housekeepers refused to work alone on the third floor because they experienced uneasy feelings, that objects were moved and that there were unexplained door closings."
And then the mysterious occurrences began.
An antique mantle clock, formerly on the second floor and now moved to the third floor, would begin to chime abruptly - despite the fact that it had never been wound and no key exists to do so…
While visiting his daughter, Hodder's father was standing on the back deck area looking out at the harbor. He turned and looked up at the inn where there are three windows below an inn sign. While looking at the windows he saw the figure of a woman pass by the first, second, and third. And gasped.
To pass by the third window the "woman" would have had to pass through the wall of a room. The third window is located in a hallway…
Housekeeper Tammy Packard has worked at the inn for the last four years. Her contact with the ghost occurred within her first six months of employment.
"It's hard to describe," said Packard. "I just sensed when she was in a room with me."
Packard says that during one "visit" the "woman," told Packard her name was Rebecca.
Packard described her appearance as that of a woman in her late 20s or early 30s. She wears a high-collared garment of stiff fabric with a pink-hued bodice and her dark blonde hair is in a bun.
Packard, who is sensitive to the spirit world, says that Rebecca is lonely; that she had few women friends when she lived at the inn because she was a "forward thinker" desiring more than the expected woman's life.
Kjirsten (K.J.) Barker, an off-season housekeeper, has also seen Rebecca and witnessed unexplained phenomena.
Barker began her employment at the inn in September of 2005. She, too, has sensed "Rebecca's" presence and has heard the chiming clock.
"Sometimes when the clock is chiming the gears are moving and sometimes they are not," Barker said.
According to both Packard and Barker, "Rebecca" favors room seven, but has been in room eight.
It was while she was working in room seven that Barker saw "Rebecca."
"I was cleaning, and standing at the bureau. The mirror on the bureau allows you to see into the hallway," Barker said. "I watched her walk by the room towards the third floor. High-collared dress, dark blonde hair in a ponytail."
No one had ever described "Rebecca's" appearance to Barker, the only difference between the "Rebecca" seen by Packard was the hair…
"The air was electric," recalled Barker.
Another instance occurred while Barker was in room seven emptying the wastebasket. The plastic liner bag suddenly began rolling across the floor, out the door of the room into the hallway and up the floor towards the third floor.
"I ran out calling to Tammy, thinking she was upstairs, but, no one was there," Barker said.
There were no open windows, no drafts. Was the movement of the bag due to the whooshing movement of stiff skirts?
Packard says that in room eight, she turns on the radio that is suddenly changed to the same country station - seemingly on its own.
Both women say that sometimes there are indentations on the beds in rooms seven and eight, as though someone had been seated there.
"Rebecca" most often appears in fall and winter and is very particular about who she appears to. Hodder has never seen her.
However, she does experience the sensation of water droplets falling on her from time to time…
Feldmann, though he does not deny the existence of spirits, has not seen "Rebecca," or had any sense of her.
Hodder's daughter, Leah, has sensed her, but also has not seen her.
"Rebecca" does not frighten the owners and employees of the Welch House. Barker says that she is very welcoming; that the experience is not in the least daunting.
But, who was "Rebecca?" Did a "Rebecca" actually live at the inn?
Intrigued, I decided to do a little investigating.
West Boothbay Harbor resident Jane Carmolli Ribble was a frequent visitor to the residence as a child. It was the home of her great-grandmother, Isabelle Welch Hodgdon.
Ribble had no recollection of having heard anything about a "Rebecca" in the family. Nor, had there ever been any talk of spirits in the house. Still, she offered to check the genealogy and get back to me.
"You are not going to believe this," were Ribble's first words to me after consulting the family tree.
Entered in the book, without a birth year or death year: Rebecca Hodgdon, daughter of Thomas Hodgdon (d. 1805)…
The Boothbay Register headlines
Get the headlines by email:
Boothbay Register Boothbay Harbor, ME Tel: 207.633.4620
http://boothbayregister.maine.com/2006-10-26/haunted_inn.html rev 2006-10-27
*found on the Eastman Online Genealogy Newsletter http://blog.eogn.com/eastmans_online_genealogy/
Check out the below article...Now, THAT is spooky.
*Oct 26, 2006 "Serving The Communities of Boothbay, Boothbay Harbor, Southport, Edgecomb" Vol 129, Number 43
Haunted: The Welch House Inn by Lisa Kristoff
Seasons Greetings…
It is that unique time of year when spirits are high (and sometimes seen), when a leaf dancing across a street on a dark and windy night can make you turn and take in your surroundings with the slightest hint of trepidation.
It is the time of year pumpkins become jack-o-lanterns, when spider webs loom large like those that housed giant arachnids in Elvira's collection of B-horror movies, and when adults and children are transformed into otherworldly personas.
It is the time of year when children bob for apples, when haunted hay rides transport passengers by frightful vignettes, and when Boris Karloff's "Monster Mash" booms from radios and at Halloween parties.
It is also the time of year when ghost stories are told and re-told.
Over the years we have heard about the ghosts on Burnt Island, the Kenniston Hill Inn B&B, and the Opera House at Boothbay Harbor.
This year we have found a new addition to the haunted list, The Welch House Inn. The Welch House Inn is located at 56 McKown Street in Boothbay Harbor and is open year round.
When current owners Susan Hodder and Michael Feldmann purchased the inn four years ago, they were told that a benevolent spirit lodged there.
"I was skeptical," said Hodder. "They told us that housekeepers refused to work alone on the third floor because they experienced uneasy feelings, that objects were moved and that there were unexplained door closings."
And then the mysterious occurrences began.
An antique mantle clock, formerly on the second floor and now moved to the third floor, would begin to chime abruptly - despite the fact that it had never been wound and no key exists to do so…
While visiting his daughter, Hodder's father was standing on the back deck area looking out at the harbor. He turned and looked up at the inn where there are three windows below an inn sign. While looking at the windows he saw the figure of a woman pass by the first, second, and third. And gasped.
To pass by the third window the "woman" would have had to pass through the wall of a room. The third window is located in a hallway…
Housekeeper Tammy Packard has worked at the inn for the last four years. Her contact with the ghost occurred within her first six months of employment.
"It's hard to describe," said Packard. "I just sensed when she was in a room with me."
Packard says that during one "visit" the "woman," told Packard her name was Rebecca.
Packard described her appearance as that of a woman in her late 20s or early 30s. She wears a high-collared garment of stiff fabric with a pink-hued bodice and her dark blonde hair is in a bun.
Packard, who is sensitive to the spirit world, says that Rebecca is lonely; that she had few women friends when she lived at the inn because she was a "forward thinker" desiring more than the expected woman's life.
Kjirsten (K.J.) Barker, an off-season housekeeper, has also seen Rebecca and witnessed unexplained phenomena.
Barker began her employment at the inn in September of 2005. She, too, has sensed "Rebecca's" presence and has heard the chiming clock.
"Sometimes when the clock is chiming the gears are moving and sometimes they are not," Barker said.
According to both Packard and Barker, "Rebecca" favors room seven, but has been in room eight.
It was while she was working in room seven that Barker saw "Rebecca."
"I was cleaning, and standing at the bureau. The mirror on the bureau allows you to see into the hallway," Barker said. "I watched her walk by the room towards the third floor. High-collared dress, dark blonde hair in a ponytail."
No one had ever described "Rebecca's" appearance to Barker, the only difference between the "Rebecca" seen by Packard was the hair…
"The air was electric," recalled Barker.
Another instance occurred while Barker was in room seven emptying the wastebasket. The plastic liner bag suddenly began rolling across the floor, out the door of the room into the hallway and up the floor towards the third floor.
"I ran out calling to Tammy, thinking she was upstairs, but, no one was there," Barker said.
There were no open windows, no drafts. Was the movement of the bag due to the whooshing movement of stiff skirts?
Packard says that in room eight, she turns on the radio that is suddenly changed to the same country station - seemingly on its own.
Both women say that sometimes there are indentations on the beds in rooms seven and eight, as though someone had been seated there.
"Rebecca" most often appears in fall and winter and is very particular about who she appears to. Hodder has never seen her.
However, she does experience the sensation of water droplets falling on her from time to time…
Feldmann, though he does not deny the existence of spirits, has not seen "Rebecca," or had any sense of her.
Hodder's daughter, Leah, has sensed her, but also has not seen her.
"Rebecca" does not frighten the owners and employees of the Welch House. Barker says that she is very welcoming; that the experience is not in the least daunting.
But, who was "Rebecca?" Did a "Rebecca" actually live at the inn?
Intrigued, I decided to do a little investigating.
West Boothbay Harbor resident Jane Carmolli Ribble was a frequent visitor to the residence as a child. It was the home of her great-grandmother, Isabelle Welch Hodgdon.
Ribble had no recollection of having heard anything about a "Rebecca" in the family. Nor, had there ever been any talk of spirits in the house. Still, she offered to check the genealogy and get back to me.
"You are not going to believe this," were Ribble's first words to me after consulting the family tree.
Entered in the book, without a birth year or death year: Rebecca Hodgdon, daughter of Thomas Hodgdon (d. 1805)…
The Boothbay Register headlines
Get the headlines by email:
Boothbay Register Boothbay Harbor, ME Tel: 207.633.4620
http://boothbayregister.maine.com/2006-10-26/haunted_inn.html rev 2006-10-27
*found on the Eastman Online Genealogy Newsletter http://blog.eogn.com/eastmans_online_genealogy/
Friday, November 03, 2006
to grunt or not to grunt....that is the question
every issue is complicated...BUT...
The following article found on comcast's website shows how gyms have become unwelcome for bodybuilders. This normally would not be such a big deal, but gyms that used to be available to bodybuilders have become harder and harder to find. Depending on your income status, they may be unobtainable completely IF you can find one.
Yes...the guy was probably grunting too loudly, but wouldn't a simple warning suffice.
I don't have time now, but later I would like to discuss both sides of the coin. I consider myself an amateur bodybuilder. Understanding the different types of bodybuilders is important here and much judgement and prejudges exists. Some of it deserved and some not.
For now here is the article:
Grunting Carries No Weight in This Gym
By CANDICE CHOI, Associated Press Writer
Thu Nov 2, 6:59 PM
ALBANY, N.Y. - Some gyms forbid hogging machines and or wearing flip flops. At one gym, grunting is grounds for expulsion. Albert Argibay of Beacon, N.Y. was escorted by police officers from a gym this week for grunting _ which is against Planet Fitness' rules for maintaining a non-intimidating atmosphere.
"Perhaps I grunted, perhaps I didn't. It's open to interpretation," said Argibay, a 40-year-old corrections officer. He said he had his headset on when he was lifting 500 pounds on a squat machine at the gym in Wappingers Falls, about 80 miles north of New York City.
Planet Fitness, which has 120 locations across the country, markets itself as a place where anyone can feel comfortable in its "Judgment Free Zone."
Its rules, posted around the gym, state members cannot wear bandanas, grunt or bang weights on the ground. When an offender is spotted, a "lunk alarm" sounds to warn the member.
Across its locations nationwide, there is at least one expulsion every two weeks, said Mike Grondahl, CEO of Planet Fitness. He said grunting and dropping weights are the most common offenses.
"When somebody's in there and they grunt and they grunt loud, it's trying to bring attention to themselves to show everyone how strong they are," Grondahl said.
Argibay emitted the offending grunt Monday evening, a peak time for gyms, said Carol Palazzolo, the gym's general manager. She said she heard it from across the room, even though "the place was a zoo."
"He was looking directly at me and he did it four times," she said. "I'm not a doctor, but as far as I know, a grunt is a noise that comes out of one's body that is loud and is intimidating."
An argument ensued when she confronted him, and the police were called. Argibay was escorted out, but no charges were filed.
"It's an embarrassing situation to be in, over a grunt," Argibay said.
Most clubs have policies regarding proper gym manners, although expulsions are rare, said Brooke Correia, spokeswoman for the International Health, Racquet and Sportsclub Association.
Grunting might be more taboo in gyms like Planet Fitness, which cater to exercise novices, Correia said.
The heaviest dumb bells at Planet Fitness are 80 pounds, meaning it's a place geared toward the general public, Palazzolo said.
She didn't know if Argibay was a chronic offender _ he'd only been a member since Sept. 27. But it was the first time she kicked a member out for grunting.
"I don't know the reason behind grunting or not grunting. But if you need to grunt, you may go and join another gym," she said.
The following article found on comcast's website shows how gyms have become unwelcome for bodybuilders. This normally would not be such a big deal, but gyms that used to be available to bodybuilders have become harder and harder to find. Depending on your income status, they may be unobtainable completely IF you can find one.
Yes...the guy was probably grunting too loudly, but wouldn't a simple warning suffice.
I don't have time now, but later I would like to discuss both sides of the coin. I consider myself an amateur bodybuilder. Understanding the different types of bodybuilders is important here and much judgement and prejudges exists. Some of it deserved and some not.
For now here is the article:
Grunting Carries No Weight in This Gym
By CANDICE CHOI, Associated Press Writer
Thu Nov 2, 6:59 PM
ALBANY, N.Y. - Some gyms forbid hogging machines and or wearing flip flops. At one gym, grunting is grounds for expulsion. Albert Argibay of Beacon, N.Y. was escorted by police officers from a gym this week for grunting _ which is against Planet Fitness' rules for maintaining a non-intimidating atmosphere.
"Perhaps I grunted, perhaps I didn't. It's open to interpretation," said Argibay, a 40-year-old corrections officer. He said he had his headset on when he was lifting 500 pounds on a squat machine at the gym in Wappingers Falls, about 80 miles north of New York City.
Planet Fitness, which has 120 locations across the country, markets itself as a place where anyone can feel comfortable in its "Judgment Free Zone."
Its rules, posted around the gym, state members cannot wear bandanas, grunt or bang weights on the ground. When an offender is spotted, a "lunk alarm" sounds to warn the member.
Across its locations nationwide, there is at least one expulsion every two weeks, said Mike Grondahl, CEO of Planet Fitness. He said grunting and dropping weights are the most common offenses.
"When somebody's in there and they grunt and they grunt loud, it's trying to bring attention to themselves to show everyone how strong they are," Grondahl said.
Argibay emitted the offending grunt Monday evening, a peak time for gyms, said Carol Palazzolo, the gym's general manager. She said she heard it from across the room, even though "the place was a zoo."
"He was looking directly at me and he did it four times," she said. "I'm not a doctor, but as far as I know, a grunt is a noise that comes out of one's body that is loud and is intimidating."
An argument ensued when she confronted him, and the police were called. Argibay was escorted out, but no charges were filed.
"It's an embarrassing situation to be in, over a grunt," Argibay said.
Most clubs have policies regarding proper gym manners, although expulsions are rare, said Brooke Correia, spokeswoman for the International Health, Racquet and Sportsclub Association.
Grunting might be more taboo in gyms like Planet Fitness, which cater to exercise novices, Correia said.
The heaviest dumb bells at Planet Fitness are 80 pounds, meaning it's a place geared toward the general public, Palazzolo said.
She didn't know if Argibay was a chronic offender _ he'd only been a member since Sept. 27. But it was the first time she kicked a member out for grunting.
"I don't know the reason behind grunting or not grunting. But if you need to grunt, you may go and join another gym," she said.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
evaluations
Well...I didn't get the job and I was not even considered. Seems that my fast departure had too much of a negative reaction. I have to believe it is for the best as the job would have been exhausting and poor paying, but in the field that I dream of working in.
Onward...tough day today...seems that mercury is in retrograde and causing issues for me. My house was egged late on Halloween, so I spent and hour cleaning up that mess today. The dial that registers the oil on my car is stuck all the way to the right. My car hood won't stay shut. Shall I go on.....
So...I'm going to bed now and cover my head and hope for a better day tomorrow....
Onward...tough day today...seems that mercury is in retrograde and causing issues for me. My house was egged late on Halloween, so I spent and hour cleaning up that mess today. The dial that registers the oil on my car is stuck all the way to the right. My car hood won't stay shut. Shall I go on.....
So...I'm going to bed now and cover my head and hope for a better day tomorrow....
Saturday, October 21, 2006
mush, mush, mush
So....I'm possibly up for a job that requires some explaining. On one hand it would be my dream job at a place that I used to call home. What makes it dicy....the job would be to replace my old boss who is taking early retirement at just two weeks notice.
I left this place solely because of this woman's inappropriate behavior towards me. She made my life miserable in spades! When I left it took everyone there by utter surprise. I was well liked and known as a hard worker. Unfortunately, my repeated attempts to bring what was happening to the higher ups was met with disbelief. There was an amazing amount of reshuffling going on in management that seemed to make everyone's life difficult. In handling this issue they did two things: 1. hoped it would just go away 2. decided the best way to resolve this was to move us to desks right beside each other in a secluded room. Hmmmm....
I know I should have delt with this quite differently in hindsight. But...at the time...going thru a divorce from a 16 year marriage; my companion and best friend (my dog) had to be put to sleep with a sudden, rapidly moving illness that gave me no notice; having to move twice and fight for keeping my home (that I still can't afford, but it's mine), AND getting pneumonia because of all the stress; was just too much so I ran.
I know...whine, whine, whine....
Now it seems that, at minimum, something happened that has led to her quick departure. For that alone I am grateful. Being able to put the powers that be at ease about my departure so I can show how great I would be at this job is a bit daunting. I know that getting this job would be amazing for me. I absolutely love the place!! The down side would be poor pay and lots of unpaid overtime.
I dream of the day when I actually can be paid well for my hard work AND love what I do.
Right now....a great latte and a decent breakfast are waiting for me. I LOVE weekends!!! This one is not so great as it's the first weekend that my wife and I have been apart....awh....
Hey...remember I don't see her during the week cause she is in school in nyc....
I know, I know....WAY too much "whoa is me" today.
I left this place solely because of this woman's inappropriate behavior towards me. She made my life miserable in spades! When I left it took everyone there by utter surprise. I was well liked and known as a hard worker. Unfortunately, my repeated attempts to bring what was happening to the higher ups was met with disbelief. There was an amazing amount of reshuffling going on in management that seemed to make everyone's life difficult. In handling this issue they did two things: 1. hoped it would just go away 2. decided the best way to resolve this was to move us to desks right beside each other in a secluded room. Hmmmm....
I know I should have delt with this quite differently in hindsight. But...at the time...going thru a divorce from a 16 year marriage; my companion and best friend (my dog) had to be put to sleep with a sudden, rapidly moving illness that gave me no notice; having to move twice and fight for keeping my home (that I still can't afford, but it's mine), AND getting pneumonia because of all the stress; was just too much so I ran.
I know...whine, whine, whine....
Now it seems that, at minimum, something happened that has led to her quick departure. For that alone I am grateful. Being able to put the powers that be at ease about my departure so I can show how great I would be at this job is a bit daunting. I know that getting this job would be amazing for me. I absolutely love the place!! The down side would be poor pay and lots of unpaid overtime.
I dream of the day when I actually can be paid well for my hard work AND love what I do.
Right now....a great latte and a decent breakfast are waiting for me. I LOVE weekends!!! This one is not so great as it's the first weekend that my wife and I have been apart....awh....
Hey...remember I don't see her during the week cause she is in school in nyc....
I know, I know....WAY too much "whoa is me" today.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Has it been this long?
Yes...I have been remiss in posting for a very long time. I can't figure out whether it is just too overwhelming where to begin or I just can't focus on how to express myself freely to cyberspace.
My new wife and I are navigating our new life together (together for now is a long distance commute almost every week [for her] from NYC to Boston and back). The last year of law school is taking a toll on her and I just wished I could do something to help. The best I can do for now is listen, give her a back and foot massage whenever she needs one, and do my damnest to show her how amazing she is and how much I adore and admire her. She is quite amazing. She cooks, non-stop on the weekends, amazing meals for us both to have during the week. She understands that I am a guy who thinks about sex a lot, yet she doesn't make me feel guilty about it or chastise me for it. She knows instinctively when I have something weighing on me and without saying a word caresses my back, takes my hand, and gives me a look of "don't worry, you have me in your life". God...this is the most amazing person I've ever known.
Me..I'm poor and I can't help her financially, which is a burden she shouldn't have to bear in addition to her law studies, having to find a job to pay off loans as soon as school is out, AND having to pass two different Bar exams. Yet..she never complains. Never makes me feel guilty.
My job issues do get me down at times. I find myself compromising on my goals and dreams just cause I can't seem to get out of the job I have because it pays the bills and I have health insurance. I have been committed to restarting my teaching career which I had going back in the mid to late 90's and didn't take seriously because I wanted to be a performer. Matter of fact back then, I hated teaching. I found myself, after several 9-5 type jobs realizing that teaching had some really great benefits. You don't have to work as many hours because the per hour rate is high compared to 9-5 jobs (or at least the ones I can get). You end up with a lot more free time for your efforts, much of the summer off or at least at a lighter schedule. I am finding that I actually enjoy teaching.
My difficulty is in getting enough students going. I have ended up with one 4 hour day and working 4 days a week at my 9=5 type job (actually working 9-10 hour days) with a 60 mile commute each way. I also would like to start a website for lessons as well as another business I wish to pursue. All of this takes time and money which I don't have right now.
I find myself overwhelmed at times and don't know how to get going on getting myself out of this rut, careerwise.
Hey...that's it for now. Hopefully I will return sooner. Oh....I had a terrific dirty gin martini this weekend. Made it myself, thank you very much!
My new wife and I are navigating our new life together (together for now is a long distance commute almost every week [for her] from NYC to Boston and back). The last year of law school is taking a toll on her and I just wished I could do something to help. The best I can do for now is listen, give her a back and foot massage whenever she needs one, and do my damnest to show her how amazing she is and how much I adore and admire her. She is quite amazing. She cooks, non-stop on the weekends, amazing meals for us both to have during the week. She understands that I am a guy who thinks about sex a lot, yet she doesn't make me feel guilty about it or chastise me for it. She knows instinctively when I have something weighing on me and without saying a word caresses my back, takes my hand, and gives me a look of "don't worry, you have me in your life". God...this is the most amazing person I've ever known.
Me..I'm poor and I can't help her financially, which is a burden she shouldn't have to bear in addition to her law studies, having to find a job to pay off loans as soon as school is out, AND having to pass two different Bar exams. Yet..she never complains. Never makes me feel guilty.
My job issues do get me down at times. I find myself compromising on my goals and dreams just cause I can't seem to get out of the job I have because it pays the bills and I have health insurance. I have been committed to restarting my teaching career which I had going back in the mid to late 90's and didn't take seriously because I wanted to be a performer. Matter of fact back then, I hated teaching. I found myself, after several 9-5 type jobs realizing that teaching had some really great benefits. You don't have to work as many hours because the per hour rate is high compared to 9-5 jobs (or at least the ones I can get). You end up with a lot more free time for your efforts, much of the summer off or at least at a lighter schedule. I am finding that I actually enjoy teaching.
My difficulty is in getting enough students going. I have ended up with one 4 hour day and working 4 days a week at my 9=5 type job (actually working 9-10 hour days) with a 60 mile commute each way. I also would like to start a website for lessons as well as another business I wish to pursue. All of this takes time and money which I don't have right now.
I find myself overwhelmed at times and don't know how to get going on getting myself out of this rut, careerwise.
Hey...that's it for now. Hopefully I will return sooner. Oh....I had a terrific dirty gin martini this weekend. Made it myself, thank you very much!
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
who am I?
Ok...here's where I begin to let anyone who's reading my drivel into what makes me tick....little by little...
As a cancer moon and cancer sun sign I am deeply rooted in the past, especially genealogy. Discovering my roots has been quite healing and catartic because of my lack of knowledge about my family. Long story that I will share in pieces over time. Let's just say my childhood was rooted in much secrecy. I didn't know much about the majority of my relatives including my own father, whom I just met about 7 months ago.
More later....
Dan
As a cancer moon and cancer sun sign I am deeply rooted in the past, especially genealogy. Discovering my roots has been quite healing and catartic because of my lack of knowledge about my family. Long story that I will share in pieces over time. Let's just say my childhood was rooted in much secrecy. I didn't know much about the majority of my relatives including my own father, whom I just met about 7 months ago.
More later....
Dan
Monday, August 28, 2006
Dirty Gin Martini
My time is always limited, what with work, looking for a new job, just getting married...yes!! I tied the knot on Aug 18th to that lovely, independent, NYC law student who keeps me honest, humble, and striving to be a better man.
Life has been good! The challenge this year will be our long distance commute (or more to the point, her long distance commute) back and forth each week from NYC to Boston.
So...about that dirty martini....well, about two weekends ago some friends flew into town from western locations and I was introduced to a dirty, gin martini on the rocks. WHERE has this drink been all my life. I have been a disinterested martini dabbler, on very rare occasions, because of my not so good relationship with Vodka. It's ok...just not what floats my boat. But, gin on the other hand. Ummmm.....specially Bombay Sapphire.
Well....no sooner had I tried this wonderful drink did I find myself on a 10 day course of antibiotics. What the hell???!!! Was this a crazy type of torture. Granted...I ended up on antibiotics, not because of any reaction to gin...no... I burned the piss out of my hand on one small spot and ended up with a major infection. Ok...now day 10 is over and I will wait until the misses arrives back in Boston friday to dabble in that Bombay Sapphire in my freezer. Now...I just need to find a disppenser for that olive juice....
Later...
Life has been good! The challenge this year will be our long distance commute (or more to the point, her long distance commute) back and forth each week from NYC to Boston.
So...about that dirty martini....well, about two weekends ago some friends flew into town from western locations and I was introduced to a dirty, gin martini on the rocks. WHERE has this drink been all my life. I have been a disinterested martini dabbler, on very rare occasions, because of my not so good relationship with Vodka. It's ok...just not what floats my boat. But, gin on the other hand. Ummmm.....specially Bombay Sapphire.
Well....no sooner had I tried this wonderful drink did I find myself on a 10 day course of antibiotics. What the hell???!!! Was this a crazy type of torture. Granted...I ended up on antibiotics, not because of any reaction to gin...no... I burned the piss out of my hand on one small spot and ended up with a major infection. Ok...now day 10 is over and I will wait until the misses arrives back in Boston friday to dabble in that Bombay Sapphire in my freezer. Now...I just need to find a disppenser for that olive juice....
Later...
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Life's too short
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Well it's about time I posted something. But, where do I begin...
I'm in an amazing relationship/engagement (as of 7/21..the engagement, that is). I know everyone in love says this and I never thought it possible, but DAMN!! This woman is everything I have ever dreamed of and more! She's smart and makes me think constantly. She calls me on my shit! She is unbelievably sexy...I'll shut up now.
My job life sucks though, if that makes all of you more comfortable. I have floundered in job abyss most of my life. At 46, ughhhhh as of last month, that's a pitiful place to be. I have always followed my heart and my passion. Look where that has gotten me. Struggling musician most of my life who's finally accepted defeat and tried to go on in the real world. Alas, I feel quite ill equiped for it. Blah, Blah, Blah.....
So...that is it for today. Not much of significance, but it's a start.
dan
Well it's about time I posted something. But, where do I begin...
I'm in an amazing relationship/engagement (as of 7/21..the engagement, that is). I know everyone in love says this and I never thought it possible, but DAMN!! This woman is everything I have ever dreamed of and more! She's smart and makes me think constantly. She calls me on my shit! She is unbelievably sexy...I'll shut up now.
My job life sucks though, if that makes all of you more comfortable. I have floundered in job abyss most of my life. At 46, ughhhhh as of last month, that's a pitiful place to be. I have always followed my heart and my passion. Look where that has gotten me. Struggling musician most of my life who's finally accepted defeat and tried to go on in the real world. Alas, I feel quite ill equiped for it. Blah, Blah, Blah.....
So...that is it for today. Not much of significance, but it's a start.
dan
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